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They work for cabaret clubs -- it's their job. They'll sweet-talk ya into buyin' expensive champagne while they lend ya a sympathetic ear and tell ya how great you are. I used to manage 'em, and they're pros.

[ So... sort of for parties? If you were fancy. Majima was squeezing lightly at Tim's fingers, glancing around at their surroundings. ]

And not personally. But it's been four years, there'd be a lotta new faces by now. You can tell what family they are by their lapel pins, though. These guys're all Tojo clan, same as I used to be... 'cept for those guys over there.

[ Majima gestured toward a small bunch of men coming up the street with a similar attitude. Unlike the others, however, they were looking all around and clearly drunk. Very much like tourists, in fact. ]

They're Omi Alliance. Don't know what they're doing takin' a field trip to Tokyo.

[ And in fact, several Tojo yakuza were now making their way towards the men, looking none too pleased. ]

Are you ready to launch your film making career?
I've gathered everything we need.

i'm ready to make some cash so close enough

where should i meet you?

At my home. I've set the guesthouse up for our purposes, as no one else uses it.

that works

i uh guess i'll see you soon?

[He'd just get his kinda nervous cow ass over to Lust's, then. The time has come for Lust to make her debut into the world of Real Porn and for the return of Doppelman to the industry.]

[The guesthouse is as warm as the main house, with the same heated flooring. It has three separate rooms, the main one looking much like a sitting room or library with walls lined with filled bookshelves and interesting looking knickknacks about.]

[That's where Lust is waiting, with a fresh tea service out. With it being winter and she being at home, she's dressed in an over-large sweater and her hair has been wrestled into a single fat braid for the moment.]

[Tim craned his neck a little to get a glimpse of the yakuza's lapels, to see what their pins looked like. He didn't know what any of the characters on them said, though; they were just gold and black pins with little designs to him.]

Those guys don't look real happy about it.

[In fact, they looked pretty pissed about it. And Tim might not have had the most experience with yakuza, but Tantalus had had gangs and he knew what a turf war looked like. He also knew that most people didn't want to be at ground zero when one broke out, because the guys involved usually didn't care too much about collateral damage.]

Should we go someplace else? This looks like it's gonna be, y'know. Trouble?

Aww, just a couple of idiots. This shit happens all the --

[ It was at that point that one of them men picked up a bicycle, but alas for him, he was slugged before he could do anything with it. The yakuza did, however, stumble erratically toward them, fist swinging in Tim's direction.

Being illusion, the contact wouldn't actually make impact... although Majima would try to grab Tim around the waist and pull him away all the same. Hey, old habits died hard. ]

Look out!

[Two groups of drunk meet in a street and what happens? Some jackass got the brilliant idea to use a bike as a bludgeoning weapon, and then get socked for it because it took way too long to heft up a bike to swing around. The guy reeled back from the strike, dropping the bike and apparently deciding that it was totally cool to take a swing at the next dude he saw. Which was Tim? Tim didn't appreciate it.]

[Even if illusion-yakuza-guy couldn't actually hurt him, he still looked solid enough. Tim was saved-- sort of-- by Majima grabbing him by the waist and pulling him into the clear. Normally, Tim would've been all about his boyfriend getting his hands on him, possibly in an inappropriately PDA-way for all these Japanese people, but right now? Distracted by the drunk asshole.]

Hey, what the hell? [He was the loud space American, he'd yell at the hallucination crime man if he wanted to.] C'mon, man, I didn't do anything! Don't swing at me, you're supposed to hit that guy.

[Go hit that other guy in the shitty suit with the overly-pomaded hair.]

[Tim has to kind of give himself a little pep talk before he goes into the guest house-- okay, Tim, you can do this, you've seen Lust's boobs before and you can walk right in there and totally talk like a normal person. Just keep your eyes on her face and don't think about anything below the collarbone.]

[And then he goes in, walking through the fancy rooms until he reaches the one that Lust's in and there are... no boobs.]

You're wearing a shirt.

[Wow, Tim, rude.]

Uh, I mean, hi? [You can still come back from this, just don't word vomit all over the place.] Yeah, hi, how, how are you, what's up? Uh. Hi.

[Goddammit, Tim.]

[ This, actually, seemed to throw the drunk dude for a loop. Maybe it was the yelling part. Maybe it was the American part. Maybe it was the part where Tim had bull horns and had shoulders like a goddamn linebacker.

"The fuck? Whas... who?"

That was all the man managed to get out as the other yakuza descended on him and his pals. ]

Alright, ya know what? Yeah, let's get outta here.

[ Because while Majima was sure that the illusionary Tojo could handle their own turf, there was no point getting caught up in a fake street fight where he couldn't even hit anyone, probably. Instead, he tugged Tim in the direction of a glitzy building front, decorated with a fucking gold painted elephant statue and the words MAHARAJA plastered up in bold. A bass line could be heard from all the way across the street, and red-carpeted stairs led up to the entrance.

THE EIGHTIES. ]

[Well, those other yakuza guys kind of solved the problem for them when they all descended on this guy to like. Punch the shit out of him. That was fine, probably.]

[Tim let Majima lead him away, and honestly, he was fine with not being at punching ground zero anymore. He wanted to see more of Majima's hometown than just the weird crime men smacking each other around in alleyways.]

Is it always like that around here? Guys just duking it out in the streets?

[There was a glamorous building in front of them, if your idea of glamour involved giant gold-painted mammals and music that could shatter eardrums at a hundred yards. Granted, a few minor adjustments and this would be exactly Jack's idea of glamour. Wouldn't look out of place on Helios, except maybe for the fact that it wasn't a likeness of Jack that was gold-plated.]

...Wow, that is... that's gaudy. Like, this is one giant gold H off of what I had to hang around in on Helios, except I'm here willingly.

[Sometimes "Jack" had to make an appearance among the masses to make them happy or whatever. Kiss some hands, shake some babies, get through the night on a steady diet of whiskey sodas and uppers, normal stuff.]

[ Majima grinned. ]

Heh, pretty much. I used to get into at least one fight on my way to work. But they don't bother ya as much if ya look like a normal person.

[ The way he held himself, his height, the... eyepatch... point was, Majima looked like he was looking for an altercation. ]

That's Kamurocho for ya. [ Or at least 80's Kamurocho. ] They really went whole hog on this place, though. It's a discotheque, figured ya might get a kick outta seeing the place.

[ And man, inside was even more of a sensory overload. Disco balls, lights, women in sequins and lamé, a light-up dance floor and plenty of drinks. Playing from the speakers was, of course, 80's disco music as the customers inside laughed and posed and generally had a great time. No baby-shaking, sorry Tim. ]

Suppose this must be pretty retro for you.

...I'm at home, it's winter, of course I'm wearing a shirt.

[She had to cross the yard, after all. And while it's pleasantly warm in the guesthouse, she hasn't quite shaken the chill of outside yet. But she supposes it is an odd sight, for those who don't often drop by her home in cold months.]

I'll be in nothing soon enough, but at the moment I'd prefer to be warm. The curses of cold blood. Please, sit down, have some tea. It's not fit for man nor beast nor both out there.

[Maybe Majima looked like he was trouble, but Tim had kind of been desensitized to it; he just looked at this tall, one-eyed crime man in a tux and saw a guy that he wanted to make out with. A tall, handsome drink of water.]

[Apparently to everyone else, that tall drink of water looked like he was spoiling for a fight.]

Sounds like a pain.

[Inside the discotheque, though, it was all loud music and neon and disco balls, ladies wrapped up in sequined spandex and metallic lame, the alcohol flowing freely. And also probably the coke, jesus christ, there was no way that everyone could go to work all day and then dance all night and not be slamming the nose candy.]

It's just as gaudy on the inside, too! [Amazing. Truly a masterpiece of absurd 80s opulence and decadence.] I can't hear a word you're saying.

[Downside of being in a dance hall-- Tim was a minotaur with sensitive minotaur hearing. Trying to pick out a voice in this cacophony was basically impossible.]

[ If Tim couldn't hear him, Majima would have to communicate in more direct fashion. He smiled at the bullman over his shoulder, then tugged him by the hand toward the main floor. Once they were at the edge, a brightly lit mass of rectangular sections lit from underneath, he pointed at it, mouthing something about watching.

Or color swatches? Kinda hard to lipread in this lighting.

Well, Tim had wanted to see his boyfriend dance, right? So Majima was off, sliding onto the dance floor on his knees and pointing up at the lights like it was some Saturday Night Fever shit. And... yep, he was doing it, he was totally fucking going for it, windmilling his arms and clapping, easy swaying from the hips while he beckoned for Tim to join him. ]

Did I ever tell ya about the time I won that dance-off?

What?

[That was fine, Tim didn't need a verbal explanation when Majima was just going to go right ahead and show him. He just slid his ass right out onto that dance floor, going at it like he was Baby and he wasn't going to get put in the corner. There were slides, there were arm windmills, there were plenty of pelvic thrusts. Majima was the Disco King and this neon checkered dance floor was his kingdom.]

[If we wanted Tim to be his Dancing Queen, though, he was going to have to do more than just beckon. He waved his hands at about chest height when Majima tried to get him to come on down, a little no-no-no gesture; if he got out there he knew it would just be embarrassing for literally everyone involved. Audience included.]

Uh, no, no you didn't! [He had to yell a little over the music.] What happened?

[ So Tim didn't want to dance, did he? Far be it from Majima to make him. But maybe this crime man would just walk on over to the edge of the dance floor and slip his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders. Draw the bullman closer so that maybe those sensitive bovine ears could pick up their conversation a little more easily. ]

The reignin' queen gave me her goofy-ass fan as a parting gift. Hot pink feathers, made me promise to use it and everythin'.

[ Regardless of whether Tim could hear everything he said, though? Majima was smiling at the memory of it. And maybe at the thought of something else, too. ]

But hey, if it turns out disco ain't your thing, maybe I can show ya a different style of dance sometime.

[Did anyone think it was weird that a crime man was getting his arms around a cowboy in a manner that was probably really touchy for Japanese people? Tim was mostly just focused on Majima either way, pulled in close enough so that his sensitive cow ears could pick up on his voice, but that had to be a weird sight, even for Kamurocho. Maybe they just thought that Tim was in some really good stage makeup, or like. A costume or something. Maybe they were questioning their previous understanding of what an American cowboy was.]

[Tim looked kind of delighted about the pink fan, though. What a weird thing to give somebody.]

Did you use it?

[Because the only thing better than Majima getting handed a pink feather fan after winning a dance contest was him actually going out and waving it around while he danced. Full dork.]

I, uh, I really don't know how to dance? Like, I didn't dance at parties and I never went to nightclubs or anything. I'd need lessons? Like, with someone who has low expectations.

I. Yeah, okay, that's fair.

[It's cold out, it makes sense that she'd want to wear a shirt. And she's half snake or whatever, cold-blooded creatures have a hard time staying warm, right? Something like that, anyway, Tim's not an expert in animals.]

Okay. I, uh, yeah, I'll do that. [Put something in your mouth so that you aren't shoving your foot in it, Tim.] Thanks.

[He takes a seat and starts fixing himself up a cup of tea. He's usually a coffee guy, but tea's fine too, especially when it's cold out. Something to warm him up a little.]

So. Um. That's some weather, huh?

'course I did. I promised, didn't I?

[ Apparently, Majima's word went beyond things like 'too embarrassed to use a hot pink feather fan'. Maybe the real friends were the hot pink feather fans he made along the way, and also while they did seem to be getting some looks and whispers, no one was actually approaching the giant cowman or his surly-looking werewolf boyfriend.

Maybe they were too weird. Or terrifying. ]

I could teach ya, if you're interested. Maybe something classy you can pull off in a tux?

[ Whoop, now he was leaning in a little closer. ]

[So long as no one came over and tried to start shit with either of them, they could point and whisper all they liked. Granted, starting shit with a wall of beef or a stony-faced yakuza man was a terrible idea and the person who decided to do it would have to have a literal deathwish, so. Unlikely.]

[At the offer of dance lessons, Tim seemed to consider it. There was kind of a point there, about being able to pull off some kind of dancing in a tux. They did presumably have a wedding that was going to come up at some point in the future, and dancing was part of most receptions.]

Oh. Yeah, that's kind of a good point? Since there's the whole, uh. Marriage thing.

[God, he could picture it-- going out for the first dance and just tripping over his own stupid hooves. The least auspicious beginning to a marriage ever.]

You don't have to teach me if you're too busy? And if you want to still like me afterward, god. It'll be super frustrating, you might want to spare yourself the aggravation.

Too busy? You're kiddin'. I heard about that first dance thing. Not like we have to do it if ya don't want, but I'd like to.

[ A smile, warmer even that the orange-and-pink lighting of the discotheque. ]

Be all romantic, y'know?

[ And it was important to Majima, making that wedding something special. It wasn't only brides that looked forward to their wedding day, surely; he wanted to make sure Tim had one to remember. In a good way. ]

Besides, I wanna dance with ya. 'fact, I was thinking maybe after this, we could look at some suits. If ya don't have anywhere to be.

[God, Majima even looked handsome under the garish pink-and-orange lights, even as they cast weird shadows over his face. This probably wasn't even just something to chalk up to stupid genetics making him look good in any light, it was probably just Tim's own internal bias. He could be looking right up Majima's nose and still compliment his bone structure.]

[Dumbass head over dumbass heels, still. Tim's hands wandered over to Majima's hips; they were only a little bit off from some kind of slow-dance position as it was.]

No, I'd like to do it? I just don't want to ruin it by stepping on your feet or something. Which would be even worse because hooves? Just. Bad. And I only get one shot at it, y'know? Or at least, I hope there's only one shot.

[He'd prefer to have exactly one time getting married.]

Even if I had plans, I'd cancel them. [There weren't a whole lot of things he'd rather do than hang out with his boyfriend.] We could stop over at the tailor's and probably like buy out all her white fabric just to make a suit for me.

Just the one. I'm not plannin' on letting ya off the hook that easy.

[ The music was starting to fade a little, the conversation and sounds of clinking glass becoming a little more indistinct. Nothing could last forever, it seemed -- not even illusions. Majima, in the meantime, leaned over and kissed Tim one more time, this time tipping his face to the side so as not to smush himself into his boyfriend's nose. ]

Any other place you wanna see? I dunno if it'd work, but I could think of something real hard. Y'know, cross my fingers.

[ How did magic illusion tunnels work, he didn't know. ]

I, uh. Hope ya like it there.

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