IC Inbox - Ryslig

[blap_blap]

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Comments

[blap_blap]

okay let me try to explain this

so like i work for jack, as his body double, because i should probably never be trusted to make my own financial decisions, whatever, it's fine

i had a whole bunch of surgery and i think gene mods???? to make me identical to him. we're not anymore because he's a freaking robot but if he ever goes human again and we stood side by side, you could tell.

part of my contract said that i couldn't use my real identity anymore and i'm supposed to be like, 24/7 jack. they faked my death and everything. so... yeah i'm supposed to tell everyone to call me jack for the next thirty years or until i die, whichever comes first, and the moral of the story is don't sign anything.

[restinglichface]

[Tim.

You realize you sound fucking crazy, right?]

WHOMST

ok so
u didnt have any money
and somehow THIS was a better alternative than getting into crime?
do u know how many banks id rob first????
also just like what the fuck my guy
what the fuck
why did no one talk u outta this fam

[blap_blap]

you want to know what's even MORE crazy than being a body double?

trying to steal from hyperion!! they would've killed me so hard that there wouldn't have been anything left to send home to mom, okay

and like i didn't originally plan to do the body double thing??? jack wanted to buy my debt so it was either that or deal with the collectors, and uh it was not uncommon for them to take kidneys if you were behind on payments so it sounded like the better deal at the time

[restinglichface]

your life is just all kinds of fucked huh

so whats better
being a cannibal monster man or jacks body double

[blap_blap]

honestly i have to kill fewer people as a cannibal monster so

[restinglichface]

u have lived a really weird life if being a monster is more normal for u

[blap_blap]

my life stopped being normal about .5 seconds after i signed the paperwork, okay

i had to be the errand boy/attack dog for a psycho on a moon that was full of like tentacle monsters and bandits, trying to make a robot army and get to an alien vault that was also full of horrible monsters??? that's my life! those are my choices! it's fine.

[restinglichface]

yeaaaah im gonna call bs on that one
nothing abt that reads fine to me

but u do u boo

[blap_blap]

idk i guess i made this bed so i get to die screaming in it or whatever

well now you know my tragic backstory. rate and review.

[restinglichface]

eeeeeeehhhh

4/10
needs more competent women kicking ass in it tbh
but as far as tragic backstories goes
it sure holds up

[blap_blap]

well you didn't ask me about athena

[restinglichface]

well shit tell me more

[blap_blap]

ok so she's part of the whole like team that i was a part of and she's this badass ex assassin lady who fights with a sword and shield. she throws the shield too? it's pretty cool

she's also super scary but she doesn't terrify me on a deep and visceral level like nisha does. like athena could totally hand my entire ass back to me but she wouldn't get off on it or anything.

and i like her girlfriend too.

[restinglichface]

so riddle me this t man
why the hell do u only talk abt jack and being his double and all the shit you got into because of it

if you were doing cool shit and meeting fucking dope ass women all of the time
u sure ur not into jack? just checking. i gotta be sure u arent a spy on his side or something

[blap_blap]

look athena is not here to be like the adultiest adult that i've ever met

but jack sure is here, being the reason that i need a freaking adult

that's why i talk about him

[restinglichface]

mmmmMMMm
id be more skeptical if i didnt know that was abso fucking lutely true
being around him just kinda gives u that feeling huh

[blap_blap]

being around jack gives me a lot of feelings and most of them are bad

he's just

he's a lot to deal with okay

[restinglichface]

yeah hed have to be to be able to go head to head with my brother

[blap_blap]

yeah honestly the two of them together are a force that i don't want to have to deal with

like no offense to your brother but he's also a lot so the two of them in one place is just

the most

[restinglichface]

hey full offense to him and im fine with it

thats exactly why ive never been in the same room as em
offer still stands to come crash on my couch if u wanna avoid all of that drama