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[Tim wrapped his newly formed beefy arms around Majima, hugging him back while his boyfriend buried his face in his neck. It was great just to be able to hold him again; he hadn’t appreciated how good it was until he couldn’t do it anymore.]

[While he was dealing with the cuddle monster of his own making, Tim was also coming to the realization that he might have made a different monster, too. Played monster mash with himself and maybe didn’t get the result that he’d wanted.]

I asketh Mana for thomething.

[It had seemed like a good idea at the time—exchange Monopoly money for a less horrible feeding method. Now... not so much.]

I wanted a way to eat that didn’t involve killing thomeone?

[ A beat. ]

...you're a vampcow?

[ Wait was there a snazzier way to say that? ] A cowpire?

[ At first, Majima wasn't even looking at Tim, his voice was muffled by Tim's shoulder but this fucker was totally smiling. Now he was pulling back a little, flashing a little fang himself in this dumb grin as he traced the blood-tipped pad of his index finger down over the swell of Tim's exposed pec. ]

But that's good news, right? You did get what ya asked for. [ There was warmth in that smile, too -- happiness, and a sense of genuine relief that it wasn't some new magical bullshit from the fog above. ] And those fangs look good on ya.

Edited 2019-12-02 05:12 (UTC)

The Nothtferatmoo.

[Deadpan delivery. If he was going to be the butt of these cow vampire jokes, he damn well was going to have the best one. And Majima didn’t always have a monopoly on terrible puns, but most of the time.]

[Majima’s smile was kind of pointy, too— he’d gotten used to fangs, Tim supposed, so surely he could, too. A little less easy to get used to, though, was the warm, sticky drag of that finger down his chest and the smell of blood in the room. It didn’t smell as gross as it should.]

I mean, I gueth? I wanted to do that energy thing, but if I’m careful I could probably do the blood thing and not kill anyone. [So it would do, but it wasn’t ideal. Tim frowned, and the tips of his fangs poked out over his lower lip.] Thankth. Not exactly the aeththetic I was going for, but I’ll work with it.

Edited 2019-12-02 05:29 (UTC)

Yeah. Maybe take small sips?

[ That could have been a pun, but Majima was talking about feeding before Tim got distractingly hungry. He considered the man for a moment or two, and those protruding fangs. God. Leave it to Tim to turn into a vampire with an overbite. ]

You can practice on me, if ya want.

[ Maybe it was actually a bad idea to immediately offer himself as tribute for a newly-minted nosferatmoo. Maybe that. At the same time

Majima couldn't say he wasn't curious. ]

[Tim was going to breeze on past that pun and pay attention to the important part of this conversation, the part where Majima offered to be a Capri Sun for Ryslig’s newest cowpire. That sounded like a bad idea? Like a terrible idea, like an idea that ended in tears and exsanguinated lovers.]

[‘Practice’ on him, like it was massage technique or something, not sticking his fangs in to drink his sweet werewolf blood.]

Uh. Is that a good idea? I might really hurt you.

[So therefore he should do it to someone who he wasn’t in love with first. But on the other hand... he was kind of hungry, and Majima always looked good enough to eat.]

[ Majima's response was to put a hand up to Tim's cheek, rubbing at a stray spot of blood with the back of a fuzzy hand. ]

I trust you.

[ He probably also should have tried to find out ahead of time whether this was going to hurt, or whether vampires had some kind of anesthetic ability that would make Tim a big old cowsquito. Love made him stupid, apparently. ]

Uh. I mean. If you're sure?

[Tim still had some doubts, but, like. Majima was an adult. He could decide if he wanted to get bitten by a cowpire, that was his prerogative or whatever. Who was Tim to deny him if he wanted to find out what it was like to be a cowsquito's juice box?]

[Love made them both a pair of dumbasses, apparently.]

Do, uh. Do you want me to go for the neck? Or is that too obvious? I, uh, I guess I could find another place to bite?

[ Majima tilted his head to the side, baring the long line of his neck and shoulder before his skin disappeared into the warm expanse of white fur. ]

Neck's fine, just don't nick an artery. You know where those are, right?

[ Was it wrong that he wanted Tim to go for the neck? Probably. But look, Tim was a big, strapping nosferatmoo, so maybe Majima could be forgiven for his fascination. Long fingers wrapped gently under Tim's jaw and tipped his chin forward. Closer. ]

C'mere.

[Majima drew him closer, guiding his face towards the warm, smooth column of his throat like he wasn’t a monster with newly minted puncturing fangs. The offer was a little too much for him to resist, at least after Majima had said yes so many times, anyway. He very clearly wanted this and Tim was kind of hungry.]

I, um, yeah. I think so.

[Pretty sure he knew where the big ones were, anyway. Tim put his face into Majima’s neck, first just kissing it— almost as an apology. This might hurt, after all, and Tim really hated the idea of hurting his boyfriend, even if the guy had asked for it.]

[Then, he opened his mouth and there was the soft scrape of sharp teeth on skin, and Tim bit down.]

[The feeling of yielding flesh under his teeth was satisfying, but not more satisfying than the warm pulse of blood that ran over his tongue, salty-sweet and lovely. And the bite, at least, of the Nosferatmoo was a kinder one— much more pleasant than painful, and probably paired nicely with being held in big, beefy arms.]

[ Kisses were nice. They were quite nice, in fact, so when Tim touched his lips to the surface of Majima's skin, the werewolf responded by looping his arms around his boyfriend's beefy neck. ]

Oh.

[ The press of the man's fangs did hurt a little -- a brief sting was the way Majima would describe it. But it certainly wasn't enough to put him off. Nor was the sharp scent of blood. In fact, the Nosferatmoo's embrace, combined with the heat of the bath water, felt so strangely good that Majima leaned into it with a sigh, the tips of his fingers tracing little shapes over the back of Tim's swole shoulders. ]

Tim...

[ The name came as a murmur, inviting and affectionate. ]

[Well, Majima sure seemed to like the kiss of the Nosferatmoo, going from that sweet sigh and the way he traced his fingers over Tim’s shoulders. The noises he made were encouraging, and Tim moved a hand to the back of Majima’s neck to angle his head better and really go for it. Bite down into pliant tissue and get another wave of heat over his tongue, another taste of him.]

[Everything about it felt good— the willing, unresisting body in his arms, the blood running down his throat, the way he could feel a faint pulse in his jaw. There was some instinct that told him to shift his bite to feel it better, up higher on his neck and deeper, but that—]

[Tim loosened his bite. That was probably enough of that. Majima was his boyfriend, not a steak. This was just a little sampler.]

[When he pulled back, there were two clear punctures on his neck, surrounded by redness that would probably eventually bruise. It stopped bleeding quickly enough, but there was still a little slip of blood that ran down his collar, and Tim couldn’t help licking it up.]

[ Turned out, Majima might as well have been wearing a skimpy negligee, because he really liked this whole Nosferatmoo thing? Or at least, he'd enjoy being ravished by this particular Nosferatmoo. He groaned as Tim bit deeper into him, at the feeling of hot blood and the strangely pleasant sink of fangs into his neck. At some point, his fingers lost that part of their coordination that allowed them to make coherent shapes, and Majima occupied himself instead into drawing himself closer into Tim's beefy embrace.

When his boyfriend let go, there was still the warm swipe of Tim's tongue over his skin; Majima stroked the soft, velvety fur behind Tim's ear and gave his temple a kiss. ]

Wow. Really enjoyed that, huh?

I, uh. Is it weird to say that you taste good?

[Probably, but Majima was a snack in both the literal and metaphorical ways. That was also kind of a problem, though-- he tasted so good that if Tim was hungry enough, he'd be worried that he might do some real damage. Get his teeth into an important vessel or something and accidentally bleed out his boyfriend.]

[Prudence would probably say that he should keep his eating and his relationships separate. That also was probably the exact opposite of what they were going to do, because they both made terrible decisions.]

Did it hurt? You, um. It didn't seem like it was bad, but...

[How could it not hurt to have somebody's teeth in your neck?]

Only a little.

[ Great, now Majima was cuddling Tim, like the Nosferatmoo had actually kissed him instead of relieving him of a pint of the good stuff. ]

I guess it should hurt. But it's really only when your fangs first sink in. The rest actually feels pretty damn nice.

[ He reached out to turn off the tap now that the water had risen to bath-height, then put his fingers up to touch the puncture marks. ]

Guess I'd still better cover up for a bit, huh? How're you feelin' now?

[So the kiss of the Nosferatmoo wasn't a painful one-- Tim wasn't exactly sure what to think about that. On one hand, he was glad that he didn't actually hurt Majima when he bit him, but on the other... there was something kind of awful in the idea that he could drain somebody and make them like it.]

[Also-- Majima was totally willing to let his cowpire boyfriend snack on him. That was probably concerning, too.]

I'm feeling better, I think? But that's a super low bar to pass.

[He'd literally regrown limbs and had his teeth fall out. Pretty much anything was better than that.]

We, uh. We should probably be careful, though? I could really hurt you with this whole vampire thing.

[And Majima might not even realize until it was too late, since there wasn't the appropriate pain response.]

[ There was probably a lot that was concerning about Majima, including that he didn't seem overly concerned. ]

Ya are a minotaur, Tim. It ain't just your fangs you could hurt someone with.

[ And... Majima had actually hurt Tim before, though the bullman seemed to have a taste for it. Majima felt a little twinge of guilt about that. Like, not enough to stop him, though. Instead, he glanced over Tim's features as if searching for something. ]

...what happened the past few weeks, it brought a lot to mind. About how I can't really help anyone.

[There was a big difference, though, between Tim agreeing to let Majima tie him to the headboard and smack him around with a riding crop and Tim accidentally draining the blood out of Majima. One was consensual and had no lasting damage, the other was a tragic accident that would undoubtedly give him a complex.]

[Tim looked a little confused at that statement, and how it came out of seemingly nowhere.]

What are you-- is this about the poachers?

[Tim had probably said this multiple times, but apparently he needed to say it at least once more.]

You know that wasn't your fault, right?

It doesn't matter whose fault it was.

[ On some level, it was about the poachers. On another, it wasn't actually about them at all. ]

When I saw ya out in that alley, I thought about how Makoto looked after those goons gunned her down. And then I thought about Saejima, Lee, Nishitani...

[ His gaze had wandered a little, but then Majima seemed to remember where he was, focusing again on Tim. ]

I ain't sayin' it's your fault, either. I just don't want to be the one left standin' any more while someone else bleeds out. I'm going to ask Mana if she can make it so I can do something about that next time.

I...

[What was he supposed to say? That he was sorry that Majima had to see him in that alley, bleeding and maimed? He was, he wished that Majima never had to see him that way. He wished that Majima hadn't had so many people he cared about die on him.]

[He just wanted Majima to be okay. And the more that Tim had gotten to know him, the more he'd realized that underneath Majima's calm, collected exterior was a man who was Not Okay.]

...What kind of thing are you going to ask her for?

[Because if the answer was 'a way to blow up all the bad guys' or something, that might be like. A problem? Not that Tim was exactly the best person to bring that up, because he was Mr. A Thing For Faces, but still.]

...A healing spell.

[ Surprise, it had nothing to do with explosions? Presumably, unless Majima wanted to heal with the power of nurturing explosions. ]

Don't laugh, alright? I know it sounds like somethin' out of a video game. [ It also seemed kind of out of character for Majima, who seemed to delight so in dismantling his enemies. Or... maybe not? He just wanted the people he cared about to be Okay, and so what if the phasing thing he'd wished for was exactly what he'd need to reach Saejima and this new idea was what he would have needed to help Makoto and Tim, he could pick his own skill tree with magic Ryslig money instead of Japanese yens this time!!! ]

Yeah, I mean, it does, but I'm also a minotaur vampire and you're a werewolf who can already light things on fire with your brain or whatever, I think that healing spells would be a stupid place to draw the line at this point.

[And, really... it wasn't an impractical thing to ask for. If people got hurt a lot all around you, why wouldn't you want a way to patch them up again? Majima couldn't physically protect everyone he cared about. Being able to keep them in one piece was probably the next best thing.]

I think that's a good thing to ask for. [He supported Majima's use of his Monopoly money. Though, really, it was his Monopoly money and he could use it however he wanted.] I probably should've asked Mana for something useful before I asked her to change my feeding. I could've seen if she would've given me some Anshins or something.

Huh? What, like, tell ya it was all gonna be okay? [ #justlanguagethings ]

[ Majima sloshed around in the water a little as he leaned up against Tim's beefy shoulder and sat back against the side of the tub. ]

I don't think there's anythin' wrong with what ya asked for. I would've asked for the same thing.

[ Well... he did ask for the same thing, really. Majima put out a hand, looking for Tim's. ]

What?

[Majima leaned up against him and Tim rearranged his arms to accommodate the new position. He reached for the the soap, too, because if they were going to be in the bath, they might as well wash up a bit. He got his hands soaped up and started to work it into Majima's ruff-- clean out any blood that was left in there.]

No, I mean. Anshin med hypoes? It's medicine or something, one of those can heal up almost anything. [Or just slam a couple of them, you'd be fine.] They're probably the main reason why I didn't end up buzz-axe murdered by a bandit or something.

[Tim would've-- or should've-- probably asked for the feeding change earlier, but he'd set himself back in Monopoly money when he'd bought that VCR and cassette tape for Majima. Worth it, though, for how happy he was.]

Yeah, but I guess it's kinda... selfish? It only helps me.

I guess that would make ya feel pretty Anshin. [ One day, the heavens would rain retribution down on Majima for his terrible comedic trespasses. You might say they'd punish him. ] It's like 'peace of mind'. Or bein' able to rest easy.

That sounds real handy, though. I used to bolt down energy drinks instead. [ Because of course, right? Bleeding from multiple orifices? Try a Red Bull. ]

[ Majima closed his eyes as Tim worked his fingers through that fluff. He couldn't help it; between the warmth of the water and the massaging, it was tempting to just loll his head to the side and let the man work. Instead, he grabbed himself a little shampoo and reached over to start lathering up Tim's hair. ]

What about the people you're not eatin' any more? [ He didn't know, Tim. For Majima, it was hard to see 'not wanting to eat people' as a selfish motive. ]

Oh, it means something in Japanese? Huh.

[What the hell was the Borderlands universe, anyway. What happened to Earth? Why did some companies have names that were translatable from old Earth languages? Why were there obvious Greco-Roman mythology references in planet names and companies? ~~Gearbox, explain!!~~]

[Tim was happy, though, to lather up his werewolf boyfriend-- he hadn't had arms for a while, or hands, so it was nice to use them again. Especially since Majima seemed to like it so much, like dogs liked getting pet.]

Oh, well. Honestly, that's probably not going to change. [He sighed, and started to rinse the soap out of Majima's fluff.] I go hunting with Jack. He does that energy thing, y'know? So he'd kill them by doing... that, and I got what was left over.

[Not exactly the most appealing way to do things, but better than the alternative. Only one person had to die for the both of them, two monsters with one corpse.]

At least that way, I could kind of make sure he only went after shitty people, otherwise he'd just kill anybody who pissed him off.

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fuck it, full cowpire trash

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